Failsafe LanarkAn Advocacy group formed by similar families and friends suffering the same scrutiny from the Children's Aid Society.(Sarah Laurin, Founder of Failsafe, 2009, Lanark County, Ontario, Canada)

October 21, 2009, The Last Straw.

A relatively peaceful day in our household. Usual topics of discussion, CAS, finances, etc. The only problem was that my partner was unaware of the extent of the toll that CAS and their demands had placed on me. You see, Sarah's daughter had been taken by CAS and placed in custody of her grandparents. The accusations changed from court date to court date. What started out as a shortage of school snacks as an oversight turned into unfounded accusations of threats, domestic violence and host of other BS. Sarah's daughter was removed from the home on June 10th, 2009. 

Now, we can't blame CAS entirely for the outcome of this day but without a doubt it was the final straw for myself. Without getting into details I was facing bankruptcy from my previous relationship. I was proud man who worked my entire life for whomever was involved in my life, the last 14 months being  Sarah and her daughter. I was less than prepared to let them down. In my mind, my intent was good but my method was not. 

Repeated threats and accusations from CAS that Sarah's daughter would not be returned to her unless I was removed from the picture opened the door for that final straw. Granted, she was her daughter from a previous marriage but, I had committed myself in heart and spirit. 

After a series unfounded accusations and blame I was forced to cede to their demands and faced with the reality of losing two of the last remaining things that were dear to me, Sarah and "our" daughter. Surely, and I know how I loved them, I would not stand to see Sarah and her daughter separated. We could hardly afford an second residence, travel and the fear and stress of trying to live our life in secrecy, lying to everyone. For piys sake we are 39 and 48 respectively, not high school. 

I had quit my job in favor of a less stressful one with fewer  hours. That didn't pan out. Now unemployed, I lost my house and it's contents from a previous relationship because I could no longer afford it and our current relationship. My partner was less than accommodating about our jointly owned truck and I was losing that. Other things regarding my parents and family over the past year had also placed a great strain on me. Now, 4 months after losing Savannah we were being told that I could not be in their lives because I was a risk. Funny thing though is that CAS never once spoke to me. I was named in all the court papers and accused of being abusive yet I had never placed a hand on Sarah or Savannnah. I had lost everything and now was going  to lose them. I suffered a meltdown and in moment of despair I cut my throat in front of Sarah, stating in what could easily have been my last breath, "I know how you can get Savannah back." 

The knife went from the counter to my throat in a flash, the wound stretched from ear to ear, 1 1/2 inches deep. 911 was called and by the grace of god I was transported and tended to. Blood everywhere, I damn near died in Sarah's arms. No vitals when I left in the ambulance. .100 stitches and or staples later, CAS had achieved their goal. We would never be together again. CAS in their infinite wisdom had in my mind forced my hand and they had achieved their goal. I was out of the house and in all likelihood never return. They didn't give a damn about me, what became of me? If I lived? They did a lot of damage and nothing in terms of damage control or aftercare. 

Sarah was traumatized and received no support from any of the accusatory agencies. At RISK??? what do you think... CAS said lots and did nothing. They were satisfied enough that I was gone, not about what happened to me, Sarah or her daughter thought. Now she was at risk. No counseling services, no financial support after forcing me from the house. And, while I was unemployed I did have a steady income for a few months. No assistance with anything that they had managed to mess up in her life by wrongfully accusing me of domestic violence. This was the response from an organization that claims to be interested in the family dynamic. To this day Sarah will tell you that there were no incidents of violence in the house save for a drunken yelling match in January of 2009 for which I was arrested, lied to to have me cop a plea in exchange for leniency, attended court, was sentenced, received anger management and alcohol training and was by this time over 9 months through probation without incident, including abiding by a court imposed non-contact order which lasted 4 months. (leniency my ass).  

Four months later, Sarah has her daughter back on paper. It will not occur till the school year ends because, unlike CAS, she is not prepared to uproot her and add that kind of turmoil to her life. Strangely, CAS never admitted any wrong doing, they conveniently moved for termination. No finding of guilt but more important, no finding of ANY wrong doing on our part or the part of CAS. Strange how after nine months of unsubstantiated accusations, an uprooted child, financial and emotional stress placed on Sarah after my hand being forced, and very nearly killing "one of the strongest men I have ever met" (Quote from Sarah Laurin) CAS can move to have the case terminated and admit no wrong doing or offer any support or compensation for the damage done to all parties involved.

Now mid April I have fortunately recovered physically from my wounds. I am scarred for life, regardless of what happened to my neck, CAS has left a scar and a hole in my life that will never heal. I fear it will be years before any of us recover emotionally from the terror and torture CAS was arbitrarily able to instill in our lives.

Thomas Jakobsen, CAS survivor.